Just on the subject of restaurants, it is very common in mid-price restaurants, especially chains, to find hordes of kids running around using it as a playground. The adults will be off in a corner laughing and drinking wine, and the children will be running round, screaming, knocking over tables, even breaking glasses and annoying everyone else, at least until one of them gets hurt and starts crying, loudly.

Look through the window of any restaurant you are interested in, and if you see kids, go elsewhere.

My worst experience was at a local place. The kids were maybe 5 or 6 years old, running around and playing hide and seek behind other customers. Why I went in I have no idea.

Then one of them was sick on my coat which was hanging on my chair. UK restaurants don’t do cloakrooms, or even hangars.

The parents thought this was very funny. I did not. When I started to complain, a rather burly father (I suppose) got up and started to threaten me. Surely my kids had done the same? No, no kids here. I was told to shut the fuck up (or else a punch perhaps).

The waiter was very apologetic. He helped me clean up, and I went elsewhere.

Just so you know.