Five things to hate about London

We love this city, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. Here are five things you will come across that are horrible.

Graffiti

It’s everywhere. Find a reasonably flat surface and yes, there’s graffiti. We don’t mean nice, artistic wall murals, it’s just vandalism. On walls, windows, fences, even the ground.

If you come into London by train, especially King’s Cross or Paddington, you will see it everywhere. OK, it’s true in other cities too, but that doesn’t make it right.

And what’s being done to prevent it, or remove it? As far as we can see, nothing. Some parts of London look very neglected. Many people find it threatening.

Vagrants

There have been rough sleepers here as far back as anyone can remember. When COVID-19 hit, many were given places to stay and the problem was not as bad, apparently. Now it’s terrible.

Especially in central London, and The Strand has always been very bad, so many shop entrances have people sleeping in. This is not just boarded up properties. In some cases, the sleepers will be there the next morning when the shop opens.

What do you do about it? Climb over them, I am told. Don’t give them money, if they ask, and if they get aggressive, find police.

Five plays/musicals that may never die

Just because they have been on a long time does not mean they are good.

The Mousetrap

It’s classic Agatha Christie, a murder in a manor house with all the usual characters.

It started before we were born.

We could tell you who the murderer is but (a) we’re not supposed to and (b) it’s pretty obvious.

But it is better than you might expect.

The Play That Goes Wrong

It’s classic Agatha Christie… oh hang on, no, it’s a spoof, by an ‘amateur’ company.

We think it’s a hoot, and it has one of the funniest jokes we have seen on the stage, but we know people who hate it. “All those things could never happen”, someone said once. And that’s really the whole joke.